Reflections on Life and Writing Post-30

When I was writing for the 24 Hour Theater Festival here in West Virginia, I was surrounded by young actors ranging in age from 16-28. I had some interesting thoughts about seeing these young actors and seeing myself in their faces. For them, doing this was a first-time experience. For me, this was something new and yet familiar to me. Doing the festival (I talk about the festival in another post) I was brought back to a memory from early in my writing life.

I remember back in 2005, I was 17 years old and I went to my first writing conference. It was a playwriting contest hosted by Red Rocks Community College in Colorado. I had submitted a play called “Executive Murder.” It was terrible and I obviously was not chosen for a reading and critique of my play at the conference. But I attended every show and workshop and learned as much as I could about drama and dialogue. I was still early in my writing career at the time. I didn’t know how serious I was about it yet. However, in doing the 24 Hour Theater Festival I had a moment of deja vu.

I remember looking at the writers whose plays were getting read and I remember wanting to be them. I saw how hard they had worked. Several cried at hearing their words for the first time. I saw how hard they had worked to find a way to tell their story in a format that is not nearly as popular as it once was before television. I dreamed that one day, I would be them. At this festival, I became them. At this festival, I was the older, writer-type, I had done the secret thing of coming up with an idea and creating the material that would come alive on stage and I had done it in just 7 hours. I realized that I had transcended the youthful eagerness to become a writer and I had been transported to being a writer. I was no longer the young man hoping that one day he would arrive. At that moment, I had arrived and it felt really good.

Writing the play was easy. It was only 30 minutes and I had an idea already. We had to fight for casting but it was worth it because the work was good. I hadn’t written in 3 weeks when I wrote the show but I have written at least 1,000 words a day for the past 3 years. Needless to say, I have developed much in the intervening time. I’ve also now produced 2 books and begun another publication. My output has been massive for the time that I’ve been working on this seriously for the majority of my time.

Hard work does not always pay off but in this case, it paid off in ability and experience. The feeling of being able to take an idea in my head and create it in the work through theater or book is truly magical.

I also realized that my experience was also a reflection of my age. I’ve lived a little bit now and now that I’m post-30, I am conscious more of the fact that I’m no longer that young man. I’m no longer those young actors and tech people who are still building up their experience and are still putting in the work to be able to create at the level I create at. At this event, I was not hanging out with the teens and 20s. I was hanging out with the adults who were all 35+. I wasn’t the awkward young person either, I belonged to this group. I wasn’t hoping to join that group. I was apart of that group. This was a big movement in consciousness for me. Although I’m getting deep into the early 30s, I was still thinking like that young guy who was trying to join the adults and relate. Now, I didn’t need to try and relate. I could relate. I wasn’t being humored by older people, I was right where I belonged. As I told someone after, “I don’t eat at the kid’s table anymore, I’m firmly at the adult table.”

This has shifted my view of my life and the view I have of my work. I feel like I have finally settled into being fully a writer. This was an interesting start to 2020. I’m sure that I will have more reflections in time and I’m sure that I will have more realizations as time goes on but I wanted to write this down and share it with everyone because sharing the journey of my work is as important as the work itself.