Gay Influencer? Straight Influencer?

Why men don’t always embrace their sexuality.

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Queer baiting and TikTok, this is a topic that deserves my full attention. It doesn’t really deserve my attention, but here we are talking about it. People clutch their proverbial pearls when men “pretend to be gay” or “pretend to be straight” to get followers. Given the nature of our attention-seeking society, this behavior should surprise no one.

The original story from Instinct Mag is here, but the point being that the boys of the Alpha Boys TikTok house are being accused of pretending to be gay on some profiles while pretending to be straight on other profiles. In my mind, this is merely an extension of the “gay-for-pay” phenomena. This sort of thing has been common for a while, and you can still see it. Hot guys will happily make adult films, cam, etc. to make money off gay men. Likely the only difference to be pointed out is that they are being honest about it. More on that in a minute.

Let’s face the facts, these guys are young, fit, and attractive. That will garner some female attention, but you know whose attention their ripped bodies and square jaws will also attract? Gay/Bi male attention. This isn’t a crisis so much as it’s a marketing decision. These influencer houses and groups are essentially lifestyle marketing brands. Other guys want to drink the same protein power shakes as they do and wear the same clothes. They make money off sponsorships for this very thing.

There is something to be said about the honesty aspect of this. When people see somebody making posts about being gay or gay sexuality, it is a natural, reasonable, assumption that he is gay and engages in sex with men. It usually isn’t obvious that he’s pretending to be gay just to garner the attention of gay men and separate them from their rainbow dollars. In the para-social relationships of social media, this is seen as “queer baiting” where someone adopts an identity for marketing purposes or to cause a controversy. There are many in the gay community that get angry about this.

Personally speaking, I don’t really care if a man is actually straight or actually gay. I think sexuality is incredibly fluid. I know that some people get mad that they are using an assumption to make money, but if that were so evil, there are many other influences to complain about. For example, if a straight guy does adult entertainment for gay male audiences and makes money off them, is that so bad? Influencers like popular Canadian YouTuber Absolutely Blake admits that he is straight as an arrow, but that doesn’t stop from him from taking his shirt (and most of this other clothes) off in various videos, instagram posts, etc. A gay thirst trap? Yes. Does he probably make money off it? Also yes. Is that somehow bad or destroying the community? Not hardly.

There’s another aspect to this that, I think, is important to bring up. Many guys aren’t necessarily comfortable exposing their sexuality due to social cost. I’ve written about this before. For a man, if he admits to being gay or bi, it may not necessarily be so good for his reputation, especially with certain women. It also may be an awkward thing with other friends or family. My point being, there is a social cost to coming out as LGBTQIA+. It is unpleasant and hopefully, one day that will change, but that day is not today. Gay/bi men will go along with a straight guy who is willing to accept the male gaze. Women aren’t as magnanimous about the whole thing.

Ultimately, this is one giant marketing kerfuffle that won’t last. Whether the Alpha House boys are gay straight or otherwise is little concern to most of the millions of people who watch their content and ultimately buy the products from their ads or support them in other ways.