Best Advice: Loneliness

One of the things they never tell you about adulthood is the crushing loneliness you’ll feel. I suppose this doesn’t apply to those who have children and hopefully not to the unattached, but I know that some of this applies to everyone regardless of your family status. So in this edition of Best Advice, we’re talking about tackling loneliness. Everyone has gotten a new dose of this during the pandemic, so I hope this helps you through the long winter we’re going to have, especially with new lockdowns on the horizon. 

I’ve dealt with loneliness in a variety of forms. I’ve moved to completely new states and regions of the country twice. I’ve traveled overseas, and around the US pretty much everywhere there is to go. It helps to have some strategies to deal with this. I know many people that don’t know to be by themselves, and I’ve always found that to be a real problem. It’s something everyone should know how to do and not completely freak out. 

I know people who don’t really connect with their co-workers or don’t really talk to them, and they certainly aren’t friends. If you’re working from home, those daily interactions might be missing from your life; not to worry, there are great ways to stave off loneliness. 

Have Things that You Do

One of the best things you can do is have a good routine. Self-care is important as an antidote to loneliness. Keeping busy is a good way not to think about not having people around. This can also include certain activities and hobbies. Getting lost in video games, reading, painting, coloring, or even household chores is a great way to fight the lonely monster. Personally, I really like keeping YouTube and podcasts going. It helps me to have a parasocial relationship with my favorite shows, and it feels like people are there talking to me. I found this valuable on the road because it gave me something familiar to hang onto. 

Have Regular Places That You Go

Even during the Pandemic, it is important to have places that you go to. A favorite park can be enjoyed in a socially distant way. I like to drive down to the water here in Seattle and watch the boats and ferries pass by. People bicycle along, and cars pass by. I can listen to music or silence and the sounds of the world. I also like having the little interactions with store clerks, especially at local businesses. Sometimes that little social interaction can be incredibly valuable to your daily mood. 

Have a Good Space

This is probably the most expensive of my tips but make sure that your house is in order. It is easy, especially when living alone, to let things get messy or never decorate. This is my encouragement to decorate up your home and maintain cleanliness, just for you. Having a clean and organized space is an important part of mental health. I have UK friends who call it “habitat unfuckery” and I think that’s the perfect term for it. The best part is that it can be a new project to work on overnights and weekends. 

Connect When You Can

This pandemic has drawn everyone closer together, although we can’t spend time in the same space. So send that text to the friend you haven’t talk to in a while. Jump on social media and reconnect via messenger or DM to people you haven’t talked to recently. It’s important to maintain social connections whatever they may be and to do our best to stay connected. It takes work, and it takes reaching out, but if you’re bored enough to feel loneliness coming on, there’s plenty of time to send a text or drop a message.