On Falling in Love with a Straight Man

 I don’t often cover too much explicitly gay stuff but this is something I feel could serve people. I’ve lived this story.

He’s great, he seems like a dream. He’s good-looking, maybe a great smile, might even have a great body. He’s nice and just the perfect kind of guy that every gay man dreams of late at night complete with “wavy hair like Liberache.”

There’s just one problem. Just a minor hang-up: He’s straight. He might even have a girlfriend. You might even hang out with them as a convenient, safe, but fun 3rd wheel. You crave those moments alone with him. The movie she can’t come to or the guys activity that she begs out on. It’s in those moments that your mind turns to what it would be like if he were your man and the trip to the store was a couple’s thing.  Of course, there is the secret looks you give when he isn’t pay attention. Those quiet moments when you notice the interesting things about his body that she will never understand or explore. The things you could give him.

It’s a dangerous path. You can become so obsessed with this guy and you get so caught up on him that another opportunity for a great relationship could come along and you could miss it because you’re obsessed over this one guy.

The solution is simple: Be kind.

What if the situation were reversed? If a woman was pursuing you in this manner, wouldn’t you be worried? Would you feel bad? Wouldn’t you want to just be friends? Wouldn’t you feel just as helpless to remedy the problem?

The best thing to do for your sanity and the sanity of your well-meaning but female-attracted buddy is to let him go and focus your attention on your own hunt for happiness. Staying obsessed about that which you cannot have has wide-ranging ramifications on your entire love life. You can miss out on a great guy, you can sabotage other relationships and most importantly, just cause yourself unnecessary emotional trauma.

If things are natural and not coming together, that is a signal. This is especially true in matters of the heart. The person for you will be attracted to the correct gender and be attracted to you for all the things you have to offer. As a wise woman told me, “If he was meant for you, he would have picked you.”

And I think that is some council every gay man can take. So, if you find yourself in a situation where you’re falling for your paintball/rugby/tennis/golf/insert-your-hobby-here buddy.

Let that go and keep it friendly. You’ll save yourself a lot of emotional trauma.