A Lesson of Compassion

What is compassion?

Compassion is a choice. It is a choice to see the humanity in others. It is a choice to identify with other people and choosing to understand and feel a small slice of their experience along with them.

Actually seeing the good in everyone is quite difficult. It requires a security of identity that is is just earth-shattering. To be truly compassionate you have to know yourself and understand that everyone is, in essence, a mixed bag. There are great, wonderful, and redeeming things about everyone, even the difficult people. And then there are other things; the unkind words, actions, and mistakes. The mistakes that we make with people and the ways in which we are not our best selves. Sometimes those things are intentional and other times they are not. Sometimes our subconscious is playing out a drama and we are only participants.

This should never diminish the actions of others and the negative way in which people experience those actions. However, one of the greatest things one learns about life is that it is very difficult to judge people. Some people do so easily with harsh hyperbole. Other people are more circumspect about people and their actions. That’s the funny thing about compassion. Within compassion there is an aspect of empathy that is required.

It’s an old refrain that we are lacking compassion in society. Compassion is the constant and consistent choice to do something kind to someone else. This also requires a selflessness that can be hard in a society that prizes the individual above all. So many people cannot really see beyond themselves and their own circumstances. It is compassionate to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, try to see the world their way, and then respond to them within that experience. 

It would be trite to say, “You should have more compassion for others.” Any of the great wisdom traditions certainly advise that. However, compassion is a secular notion too. Treating others in a space of compassion, people you will never meet, takes a very different perspective but it’s possible when you realize all the ways we are similar rather than all the ways in which we are different. 

Instead of saying that we need more “Love” we should get specific. What aspect of love does our world need: compassion. That ability to be kind, even in moments of public policy.